Friday, November 20, 2009

Changing Our Lives

I have a friend that I sort of have a psychic connection with. I know that sounds bizarre, but I've seen it many times during the years we've known each other. Let me explain how it works with us. First of all, I should mention that she is a very spiritual person. She doesn't have a religion per say, but she does believe in God, and does pray. That could be why we are in tune with each other. She lives many hours away, and we haven't seen each other for years. Time goes on and I forget about her in a way. But then all of the sudden I find myself thinking about her. What usually happens is that I DON'T react to my thoughts about her. I SHOULD call her, or write her an email, but usually I just think about her. But what usually happens is that within a few days, she calls me. Every..time. It isn't a regular thing. We could go years without speaking, and then I find myself thinking about her, and then she calls. But sometimes when I find myself thinking about her, I actually tell myself to write an email because if I don't, she will call first, and it will look like I am never the one who calls. lol

A few months ago I made friends with her on facebook. This past week I was thinking about her, and noticed a note on facebook urging me to "reconnect" with her. This time I paid attention and wrote a note to her. As soon as she saw my note, she called. I asked how she has been, and she said that she has become a minister for the hospital. This is the perfect position for her, because she is particularly gifted at grief counseling. She isn't a minister in the normal religious sense of the word. She doesn't preach, she mainly just listens.

She also told me that she started a new business working as an NLP. I asked what that meant and she said, "Neuro Linguistics Practioner". She said she went up to Oregon and got her certificate so she could practice this. She explained a little about what she does. This is a kind of therapy where the NLP helps people to look at their life, and why they do the things they do. I don't think I'm explaining this very well, because I don't fully understand it yet, but what she explained to me was very interesting.

She explained that in her practice, she doesn't focus on all of the bad things that happened in the person's life, but focuses on that person's own decisions. She explained that we can't change what has happened to us in our life, but we can change the way we look at ourselves. This is kind of like what Amber was saying about how we decide whether or not we are going to be happy. The way I understand it, is that sometimes we get stuck in living our life the same way we always have, and then blame our circumstances on others instead of ourselves. This therapy helps us to focus on why we do what we do, and how we can change our paradigm to help us get different outcomes.

Some examples of people that get "stuck" are: The girl who always seems to choose bad boyfriends, or the person who complains that they never have any friends, or the person who people always seem to take advantage of. It could be the person who was abused as a child, but then goes on to be abused by numerous people in their life. It could be a person who can never seem to hold down a job, or the person who can never seem to overcome an addiction. What this therapy does is to help us to see how we keep ourselves in that "stuck" position. No matter what other people say to us, it doesn't help us to change because we can't see life in any different way. We limit ourselves because we don't understand what got us "stuck" in the first place.

I was telling her about someone who lives near me who said they don't have any close friends, and asked how I could help this person. She said, "Ask them what life would be like if they DID have close friends." It's kind of like the old adage about success; imagine yourself already successful, and you will probably become that way. I really think this therapy is also about taking responsibility for our circumstances. Instead of blaming others, it helps us to look at why WE have allowed ourselves to be put in this position.

I'm very intrigued by what she explained to me, and I want to study a little more about it. It's so interesting to me because just this week I have been praying to know how to help a friend who is having some problems, and then out of the blue, this friend called and gave me some tools to help. I feel blessed to know her, and also to learn from her.


Christina said...

Great story!

Ramana Rajgopaul said...

She certainly seems to be a remarkable person. I particularly like the bit at the end about taking responsibility for one's self and one's circumstances. That message at this particular juncture for me is precisely what I needed to resolve some thing that has been troubling me the last few days. Serendipity? I do not think so.