Sunday, February 08, 2009

Confessions of a Dog Lover

So, I have this dog....and she loves to eat anything she can get her paws on. We've had a little problem lately with her reaching up and getting food off the table. I've learned that the minute we finish eating, we have to put the food away, even if someone is on their way home and hasn't eaten yet. Usually, if my husband is late getting home, and we have just eaten dinner, I put the food in the oven. We've only been doing this a couple of weeks because this behavior of the dog only started recently. My husband has been coming home, and getting the food out of the oven, dishing up his dinner, then putting the leftover food in the refrigerator. Every day, all week long, for a few weeks, this has been our practice.

Tonight my husband had a meeting to attend at church, and one son wasn't hungry, so the youngest son and I ate dinner together alone. I was anxious to finish dinner so that I could log on to the family website and chat with my siblings. I neglected to put the food in the oven, but left it sitting on the table. As our chat was just ending, I remembered the food and asked my son to run go make sure the dog didn't get the food on the table. He said, "Well, she already got in to the bowl of peas, and knocked them on the floor, so I put her outside.". When chat was over, I went downstairs and found the peas on the floor. I took the rest of the food to put in the oven. It was then that I noticed that the meatloaf looked a little smaller than I remembered.

It was obvious to me that the dog had been able to reach the end of the meatloaf. Now you may think this is gross, but I decided that if I cut off the end of the meatloaf, that the rest of it would still be good. My husband hadn't eaten yet, and I knew he wanted some meatloaf. I carefully cut off the "dog germ" side of the meatloaf, and put that contaminated meat on my used dinner plate. I set that plate on the counter while I put the good food in the oven for safekeeping.

I know, you might question whether or not the food was still good, but I felt pretty sure that the dog had only reached that end of it. Also, things like, "A dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's" went through my mind. I had cut off what I thought was a sufficient portion to ensure that anything the dog had touched was removed.

When my husband got home, I was upstairs, so called down to him that the food was in the oven. I know him well enough to know that he would approve of the steps I had taken to ensure the food he ate was uncontaminated. He dished up some food and reheated it in the microwave and came upstairs to talk to me while he ate.

After he ate, I said, "Okay, so can I tell you about the food?" I explained what had happened. I thought that if there was any squeamishness left, he would rather hear about it AFTER he had eaten. :) I explained that I had carefully removed the portion of meat that the dog had reached. It was then that my husband said, "Delirious! I saw that meat sitting on your plate on the counter, and I thought that was all the food that was left over, so I heated that up and ate it!" I said, "But I always put the food in the oven!" He said, "Well, I first saw that food, so dished it up, then I remembered the other food, so got some of that too and ate it all!" So let me ask you all. If this had happened to you, and your spouse had eaten the dog slobbered food that you had so carefully cut off and put on a used dinner plate, would you laugh? Because I couldn't help it, I did. He then asked me why things like this happen to him all the time. Remind me to tell you the story about when he got a drink in the middle of the night at his grandmother's house.


Nene said...

Yes I would have laughed! I would have laughed so hard I would have been rolling on the floor with tears streaming down my face!

Amber said...

yuck! not only would i laugh but i would point and tease as well then vow not to kiss him for a few days LOL

Ramana Rajgopaul said...

This is a beautiful story and I cannot wait to read about the drink in the middle of the night..

Dee Ice Hole said...

But you are lucky you are married to him and not me---the dog would be history if it were ours---H I S T O R Y --BLOOD BATH

Lindsay-Weaver said...

Dad, you're so full of crap.
Delirious- If he reheated it, I'm sure it would've killed any germs that were leftover.

I would've LMAO! :)