Saturday, June 07, 2008


Stace-ghost blogged about friendships recently and this was the comment I made:

"I like to have alot of close friends, but I can't manage alot of friends at a time. I know that might sound bad, but I just dont' have the time for "needy" friends, or ones that I have to spend a lot of time with. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to be realistic. I find that the people I tend to gravitate towards are the out spoken ones who always let you know what they are thinking. I like them because I always know where I stand with them. They also tend to be the same person no matter the circumstance. They don't put on a different face in public than they do in private. That's what enables them to speak their mind, they aren't worried about appearances. I guess to some extent I am that way too, but I try to be tactful. I don't make close friends easily, but usually when I do, they are life long friends."

I think the hardest part for me about making close friends is that I am very choosey, but sometimes it isn't reciprocal by those I choose. It seems that happens more often than I would like. But I understand because there are people that I just can't imagine being close friends with. For whatever reason, I don't trust them, or dont' enjoy being with them, or dont' have anything in common. So some people must feel that way about me.

What kind of people are you friends with? What kind of people do you choose for friends?


Epitome of Sweetness said...

I don't think anybody wants "needy" friends.

Fromagette said...

I'm probably one of those "needy" friends that you mentioned. I don't know if I necessarily need to spend time with people all the time, in fact I really don't, but I do need to feel like the people I associate with are making an effort to stay my friend. I really do not like being the one that is calling all the time to schedule things, etc. And if I actually find someone that I feel that I can be friends with (that takes a lot, let me tell you), I do expect a lot of effort on their part. But I'm not emotionally needy. I can take care of myself and my time, thank you very much. :) In fact, because it is so hard for me to find friends that I really click with, I do end up spending a lot of time on my own taking care of my daughter. And for the most part I am ok with that. But if you really want to be friends with me, then you had better put forth an effort or I'll stop trying.

Max said...

Hey D!

I am like you: I don't like "needy" friends, nor I have the time for them. However, life keeps pushing them to me...I don't know, I am an iman of needy friends LOL *nodding*! The thing is, at some point they end up by being disappointed at me cause I "don't seem to invest time in the relationship"...but then I explain them that my life doesn't allow me to be with people all the time and that it isn't my nature really...

"What kind of people are you friends with?" - intellectual and funny; crazy and intelligent; distractive yet interesting; entertaining people (I like all sorts of people) long as they respect my nature and my space.

"What kind of people do you choose for friends?" - people with good vibes.

Great article, D!