Thursday, August 09, 2007
A Devil on One Shoulder, and an Angel on the Other
Am I the only person that gets irritated by certain people? I don't know what it is, but something about some people's personalities irritates me, and I feel grumpy when they are around. It's not that I hate them, they just get on my nerves. I'm not even sure exactly what it is that does it to me, I just know how I feel.
Recently one of these people came to my house. I invited them in to eat dinner with us. Later my daughter said, "Why do you try to be so nice to them when you say all the time how much they bug you?". I know what she is getting at, she thinks I'm two faced. She thinks I grumble behind their back, then pretend to be their friend to their face. I thought alot about this, and I think she is wrong.
I think I sort of have an angel on one shoulder, and a devil on the other. Part of me gets irritated by that person, and doesn't like to spend time with them. But part of me wants to be kind and to be accepting, despite the feelings that I have. When I see them, I try to make them feel that I accept them. I try to make them feel welcome in my home. I try to accept them despite my feelings. I put away those grumpy feelings while they are there. I will admit that when they leave, the devil takes over and I'm glad they are gone. But I dont' think my motives for wanting to be nice to them should be dismissed.
I think we all struggle with this at times....feeling that little devil poking at us, but wanting to listen to the little angel that is telling us to be nice. I think it's kind of the same thing as when someone is wearing clothing that isn't very nice looking. They ask me how they look, and I don't want to hurt them, so I find something good about it to tell them. (Wow, those colors are really good for you!) I may not like it, but someone else surely does. And even though I may not care for a person, my opinion really isn't the defining sum of their existence.
I am not sure I have ever tried to be perfect, but even if I tried, I know that I fall short. So I will probably continue to grumble and get irritated by some people, but when they come to talk to me, I will try my best to accept them, and make them feel accepted.