For some reason, this Christmas season I have had a hard time getting in to the Christmas spirit. It always helps when I get my nativities put out, and the other decorations up. But today I finally got the spirit that I was missing.
Our choir presented a special program in church today. We have an excellent conductor, he really has some great musical talents, and has been leading choirs for most of his life. Most of our choir members have a certain amount of talent as well, but we are, after all only amateurs. But I think we sounded pretty good.
The interesting thought I had as I stood and sang with the choir today was that it really didn't matter to me how well we sang. Yes, I wanted it to be nice for those listening, but it occurred to me that what meant most to me was that I got the chance to do it.
I have to confess that I have some auditory learning disability. It is extremely difficult for me to listen and pay attention to people speaking. Listening to others sing is much the same, I have a hard time listening to others perform. I start out enjoying it, and in the middle somewhere my mind starts to wander and I realize suddenly I'm not listening anymore. Singing keeps my attention. When I sing the words, they mean so much more to me than when I just listen to others sing it.
Singing today was great. I must confess that I found it difficult to control my emotions. Some of the lyrics are so tender that I have a hard time controlling my emotions to sing them. I just had to focus on the actually musical notes so that I could get through the lyrics.
As I stood singing today, it occurred to me that this is what Christmas is about to me. The poetry, and the prayer of the songs we sang, that is what makes Christmas for me. We do the whole Santa Claus thing for fun, but the worship is really the center of the holiday for me.