Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Rapture

Not long ago I saw a man standing on the street corner wearing a sign over his chest that read something like, "May 21st Judgment day". Since then, I've heard a lot more about it, and have come to find out that there are some wackadoodles out there that believe the world will end this coming Saturday. This date is loosely based on some scriptures, and I think even the Mayan calendar. I was talking to a woman yesterday in the waiting room of the hospital (I had given someone a ride there) and she said, "Well, I guess for some people it will be the end of the world. We never know how much longer we will live." Jesus taught "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." Matt. 24:36. So I'm not sure how preachers can reconcile that scripture with their prophecies. In fact, the man who came up with this date has been previously wrong, so I thought I would give some tips for those who still believe that Saturday is the "big day".

1. Don't quit your job.
2. Don't mow the lawn. I mean, if the end is near, what's the point, right? (I stole that idea from Armstrong and Getty :)
3. Stay home Friday night. You wouldn't want to risk messing up all that repentance you have done up until now, right?
4. If you wake up Saturday morning, and everything seems the same, try checking your Mormon neighbors' homes. If they are still there, it didn't happen. ;) (lol sorry, couldn't resist that one)
5. On Friday night, clear your bank account and make a check payable to me. :D

For some people, the world ended when Elvis died. For other people the world ended when they switched to digital tv signals. As for me, I will keep watching the signs of the times, and just try to make sure I'm living the way I should be. But this Saturday I'm pretty sure I will be keeping my feet on the ground, just like everyone else.

"For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect." Matt. 24:24


Max Coutinho said...

Hello, D!

Advice #5 is precious! LOL LOL

The world will not end on Saturday for everybody (although it will for some; for I am sure somebody will perish that day in some corner of the world, and for those the world comes to and end indeed). However, I can say that the weather has been strange: for instance, here in Portugal it is hot and sunny, and then suddenly out of the blue it begins to rain cats and dogs. The sky was clear a minute ago, and then POW! This has been happening for a week must be a sign of some sort...


Grannymar said...

#1 - I don't have a job.
#2 - The grass grows whether I cut it or not.
#3 - I stay home most nights
#4 - I'll check in with you on Saturday.
#5 - I love it!

I'll go when my number is up. Not a second before and not a second after. Worrying about it is waste of fun time.

Nene said...

Go read my latest post for the wackiest "Rapture" story I've ever heard!

Rummuser said...

I would dearly like to meet up with Harold Camping on the 22nd, wherever that may be.