Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Stress

I had a very weird stress experience the other day. The choir sang in church, and I played the piano. I'm not sure why I was stressed, because the song we sang is one I am very familiar with, and isn't very difficult. (Now Let Us All Praise God And Sing). I often have the experience when I am stressed playing for the choir, that my mind starts to race. I think it is similar to when a person has a near death experience and their life passes before their eyes, except I don't get the life review. This time when it happened, I started thinking about a million things, and all of the sudden I felt this disconnect between my hands and my brain. I was still playing the notes correctly, but I suddenly began to wonder how my hands knew what to do. My mind was totally focused on the notes on the page. My mind was not focused on my hands, but they still cooperated. Couple this thought with paying attention to the conductor, and with seeing the audience in my peripheral vision, and with memories of playing for the choir as a teenager. I suddenly feared I would lose focus all together. I'm not sure how I was able to "snap out of it", but I did, and the song ended well. But what an odd experience to have, for a short period of time, a feeling that my hands and brain weren't connected!

5 comments:

Nene said...

I've had that happen to me also. I don't know how long it lasted for you, but for me it was just seconds, while I frantically found my place again and continued to play on. I've even had it happen to where I can't find my place for a few seconds and have to stop playing. Needless to say, I hate it when that happens.

Delirious said...

Well, that was the weird thing. I didn't stop playing, and I didn't lose my place. I just had this weird feeling that my hands were doing something different from my brain. Very strange.

Looney said...

This sort of thing usually just comes to me as a bad dream. Standing in front of an audience, trying to give a presentation, going through the mouth motions of talking, but no words come out.

Of course that might be a good dream for the listeners.

Mr. Giggles said...

It's called "Muscle Memory." Your hands know what to do, even when your brain isn't telling them...

Amber said...

weird! maybe it's some kind of piano playing panic attack!