Monday, February 17, 2014

Gender is NOT a Choice

I will probably get some hateful comments in response to this post.  See, that's how it works.  I'm not allowed to have an opinion, but they are.  Anyway, I found this on the facebook wall of a friend of mine who says he is gay.  Now, some might argue that being gay is not a choice, that you are born that way.  I don't know about that, but I do know that we are born either one gender or the other.  There are rare cases of people who have difficulty knowing which gender they are because they were born with both male and female parts.  I actually have a close acquaintance who was born this way, but ultimately gave birth to a child, so I thnk science would agree she is female. 

Some people feel that they are one gender trapped in the body of another gender.  I don't know about that either, but I think if you have a male body, then you should refer to yourself as a male, and if you have a female body, you should refer to yourself as a female.  That is, by definition, your gender.  And even if you feel more feminine or masculine than typically associated with your gender, that has no bearing on ultimately what gender you are.  I kind of think of it like race.  Either you are Chinese, or  you aren't.  Either you are Latino, or you aren't.  You can't be black and one day decide that deep down you are really native American Indian.  Because physically, and biologically, you are black.  If you choose to live as an Indian, and think of yourself as Indian, that is fine, but don't get upset when I call you black. 

So this was the post that I found on Facebook:

"Found on tumblr
if i ever misgender you:

1 it is not on purpose i promise
2 im very sorry
3 tell me your correct pronouns and ill use them"
There was a number 4, but it was stupid, and had no relation to the rest of the items, so I deleted it. 

I can't tell you how much this mentality bugs me.  Mis-gender?  There are some cases when a man or woman dresses so much like the other gender that you can't tell.  I might call that person by the gender they resemble, not by the gender they were born.  In that case, yes, please correct me.  But if you have a female body, I think it's pretty irrational to be upset with me if I refer to you as female.  And frankly, I'm not sorry.  And I refuse to use a pronoun that doesn't correctly fit your anatomical makeup. 

I heard that recently California passed a law that allows children who identify themselves as the opposite gender to use that gender's bathroom at school.  I think this is appalling!  Why even have separate bathrooms if you are going to allow one boy to use the girls' bathroom, or vice versa.  And  parent may have a son that wants to wear dresses to school, and that's okay with me.  Just don't force my child to buy in to the dillusion that even though he is anatomically a boy, he must be called "she" and "her" because he chooses that.  Sorry, but  you don't choose gender.  Some people may have sex-change operations, but that doesn't change their DNA. 

I think that in many cases we not only have gender confusion, but we have moral confusion.  The world today is trying to gray the lines between what is truth and what isn't.  The world today doesn't want there to be any wrong or right, truth or error.  The world today wants us to accept every lifestyle, and not make any moral judgments at all.  Our world has truly lost it's moral compass. 


Rummuser said...

This is not a hate comment Delirious but one to differ with you on what is moral.

Homosexuality and gender quirks have existed throughout history and exists among all creatures. They are a minuscule minority and should simply be allowed to let them have their lives as painless as possible.

Prudery has brought this topic out in the open and now that it has, let us simply allow the others to be.

Delirious said...

Rummuser, I did not take your comment as a hate comment. :) But I think with my last paragraph I confused you about the point of my post. My point was that although a person may decide which gender they find attractive, they cannot decide their own gender, and should not get offended if others don't call them by a "chosen" gender instead of the gender they were born. I actually agree that everyone should be free to live how they want, and that we all should treat others kindly. But I thnk it is misguided thinking that a person can choose which gender they want to be. The very essence of gender has to do with a person's DNA, not their sexual preference.

Alan G said...

I applaud you for sharing your thoughts on this contentious subject. I personally find no issues with regard to your comments. For me its all a matter of biology and always has been. Even though I consider myself well versed in the biblical aspects often used to debate this subject matter, in my view it has little consequence when compared to the biological aspect of the matter.

I agree with Rummuser also on the overall premise of his thoughts regarding the matter but the minuscule minority that he refers to is changing the whole context of American society and culture on this issue. It's no longer a matter of tolerance with regard to the straight community, it's becoming a matter of "persecution" if you have opinions contrary to the LBGT communities agendas and rules of engagement.

And now to the matter of my visit! Ran across your blog while blog-hopping and have enjoyed reading some of your posts so beware, you may see me again! :)

Delirious said...

Welcome Alan! I'm glad you stopped by, because if the LGBT reads this post, yours and Rummy's may be the only civil comments I get. ;)