Sunday, October 13, 2013

Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium: My Biggest Fear

I've been internet challenged for the past week.  I haven't been able to get my VPN to work so that I could blog.  My son hasn't had any problem in the afternoons when he gets home from school, but in the mornings, when it's my turn to use the computer, I haven't been able to until today.  So I'm late with this post, but I decided to go ahead and write it anyway.

When I was a little girl I had a lot of fears.  My biggest fear was that something, a ghost, or a monster, or something equally bad, would come up from under my bed and get me.  I was so scared that I would run to my bed after turning off the light at night.  My parents had given me a large teddy bear for Christmas, so I put him beside me to protect me.  A year or two later they gave me another.  I think they hoped that if they gave me a new one, I would throw out the old raggedy one.  But instead, I put a bear on each side of me so that both sides were protected.  I know what you are can a stuffed animal protect you?  But in the mind of a child it helped, and frankly, isn't a stuffed animal as powerful as a monster?  Both are equally real in the mind of a child.

Now that I am older, I have different kinds of fears.  If we are talking phobias, I would have to say that my phobias are deep water, and space.  I can rationally tell myself that there is nothing to be afraid of, but on occasion I have hyperventilated after having to swim in deep water.  There was a movie a long time ago, I think it was called "The Deep".  I couldn't watch it.....

I've obviously never been to space, but I think I would have the same problem there.  There is a new movie out called "Gravity".  I haven't seen it yet, but I've been told it's about space, and basically everything that could go wrong in space.  I don't know if I can watch it!  

My normal fears, that don't go in to the phobia range, have to do with the well being of my family.  I fear for their safety.  I worry about the development of their personalities.  I worry about their education.  But I mainly worry about their safety.  I have a couple of sons who are quite daring, and the do some crazy stuff sometimes that give me white hair!  It was especially hard to send them off on scouting campouts.  They would come home and tell me about cliff diving, and having to climb the hill when they misjudged the coming in of the tide during their hike.  My one son told me about swimming across Sword lake.  He doesn't even swim that well!  (And remember my phobia of deep water?)  So I really do stress and fear for them sometimes.

When I was a child I had a hard time learning how to swim because of my fear of deep water.  I never really did learn until I was an adult.  I decided to conquer my fear and take a swimming class.  I did learn to swim, although I'm not a strong swimmer.  I had almost drowned as a child, so this was quite a feat for me to learn to swim.  As my children came along, I tried not to influence them with my fears.  Even though I would panic if I saw them swimming in deep water, I tried not to make them feel afraid.  Today they are all fairly good swimmers, and two of them have been lifeguards.

I haven't conquered my fear of deep water entirely, but I can control my fears so that I can swim in deep water.  I don't have to go out in space, thank goodness.  But whenever I'm in a fearful moment, I try to not dwell on my fears and try to take my mind to another place.  I might be flying thousands of feet up in the air, but I try not to let myself think about how high up I am.  I can't totally conquer my fears, but I can control them!

Curious about the fears of the other consortium members?  Check out their blogs and see what they have to say about their fears: Rummuser, Anu, Ashkok, Gaelikka, Grannymar , Padmum, Magpie11, andAkanksha,Will Knot, Maria the Silver Fox, Anki, Nema Noor Paul Plain Joe, and Rohit, Black watertown, The Old Fossil, our newest member MAXI! and last, but not least SHACKMAN! :)


Anonymous said...

yes it's one thing coping with fear for one's own safety, but children are another matter.

Rummuser said...

You are in elite company. All parents will be exactly like you.