My mother was not particularly demonstrative to us children. My father was demonstrative to me, and often hugged me, and as a little girl he rocked me in a rocking chair often, even when I was older. But despite not being demonstrative, my mom was a good mother. However, when I was older, perhaps about 20 years old, and still living at home, my mother decided to change. She had read an article that said that if you want your children to be okay emotionally, you should hug them every day. If you want them to do well, you should hug them twice. If you want them to excel, you should hug them more. My mother decided that we needed more hugging in our lives, so instituted a new rule that before we left the house, we had to give her a hug. It was a little awkward at first, but in the long run, it was a nice change.
When my own kids came along, I perhaps went over board on the hugging. They began to push me away. I still tried, but over the years, especially during their teenage years, it became more difficult to get them to let me hug them. I decided that any touch is better than none, so I would try to at least pat them on the back, or rest my hand on their back while I talked to them. I do think that touch is very important to children. I think sometimes an animal can fill that need for touching. Children will hug and kiss an animal, even when they won't allow their parents to do so. Whatever the source, touch is incredibly important in the lives of everyone, especially children.
The human touch is so important that doctors encourage parents to touch their babies that are in ICU. I heard one story of a baby that was a twin that wasn't doing well after birth. They put the other twin in with that child, and that baby began to thrive after being close to it's twin. The human touch can be healing. The goal for us all should be to make sure that our touch is always a healing touch. I think we should always reach out to others with our touch, even if it is just a shake of the hand.
Check out what the other consortium members have to say about "touch". Rummuser, Anu, Ashkok, Gaelikka, Grannymar, , Padmum, Magpie11, andAkanksha,Will Knot, Maria the Silver Fox, Anki, Nema Noor Paul Plain Joe, and Rohit, Black watertown, The Old Fossil, our newest member MAXI! and last, but not least SHACKMAN! :)
6 comments:
I am reaching out to virtually touch you, today. Stay safe and enjoy your day.
This is a wonderful post, D. Your teens may not have been receptive to "touchy feely" but they will never forget it.
As they grow older it will come to mind and make them smile and feel good. It will be one of their fondest memories.
Blessings ~ Maxi
Dad also used to give me hugs and let me sit with him in his chair, and likewise Mom was not a hugger. Which is puzzling to me because her sisters are all big huggers and she is a big hugger now. I keep telling my husband we should hug our children when they come to see us and when they leave, but we have some that we do that with because they are huggers and the non-huggers get away without getting a hug. But we just try harder. My biggest hugger was Babs. He would hug me several times a day because - in his words - he just loved me and wanted to always hug me. I appreciated that in him and wish I had tried harder to hug my older kids when they were younger. But it's never too late!
In my family, my mother was and all of us siblings are great huggers. Our father was hesitant and I suspect that he missed out on so much!
Hello!
Never doubted ever once that the human touch must be ever present everywhere.
Nice write up!
Cheers!
Ordinary Joe
http://joethinkspeak.blogspot.com/
I plan on giving my kids lots of hugs, because I really believe it's important to people. When grandpa passed away I told mom to be sure to give grandma a hug every day, because when I was going through my divorce that was the hardest thing, when you needed it most, you aren't getting hugged by anyone anymore. We all want and need to feel loved by those we love. :)
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