Thursday, September 22, 2011

Friday Loose Bloggers Consortium: Marriage

I made the mistake of writing about marriage when our topic was "eternity", so now I have to think of something different to say. :)

When I think back to my own marriage, I remember that for me, it was more about the marriage, than the wedding. My mother made my wedding dress for me, and when she asked me what kind of dress I wanted, I gave her a vague description. I really didn't care. For me, at that time, the wedding was just a hassle, and distraction from what I wanted most; the marriage. Some girls dream their whole lives about what kind of wedding they will have. I thought more about the kind of person I would marry. I was totally uncomfortable with all of the attention from wedding go-ers, and really just wanted to get on with my with marriage. My wedding was in one of our LDS temples, in St. George, Utah. That alone made it very special. The reception is a blur in my mind, because I really just wanted to get it over with. My mother has often said since then, that she would rather have given me the money it cost to have the reception, and not had one. Looking back, I think I would have preferred that! I have to admit that I worry about girls who are more concerned with the wedding, than they are with the marriage.

One more thought about marriage before I close. I really think that marriage, in many cases is a decision. Divorce is too easy, and becomes an easy way to not have to deal with problems. But if two people have decided they are going to make their marriage work, and both are trying, I think any marriage can work. When I say, "both are trying", I mean that neither is abusive, or unfaithful, or untrue to the marriage covenant in any way. Plenty of arranged marriages have survived far longer than marriages of people who chose each other. It just is more proof that being happily married is a decision. It takes work on the part of both parties. But I have found great satisfaction in my marriage. We are coming up on our 25th anniversary, and expect to have many similar anniversaries in the future.

Now go and see what the other Consortium members have to say about this issue!

Rummuser, Anu, Ashkok, Gaelikka, Grannymar, Conrad, Padmum, Magpie11, and Akanksha,Will Knot, Maria the Silver Fox, Anki, Nema Noor Paul Plain Joe, and Rohit


Rummuser said...

I can sympathise with you. My own wedding was quite exhausting in a different way.

Grannymar said...

My wedding was simple, I refused all the fuss. We had immediate family only (24 people) and returned from church to the family garden for a catered buffet and day of fun. Five of the ladies arrived wearing the same colour pink - three were my sisters-in-law! :-)

Anonymous said...

I think you're dead right about the marriage being far more important than the wedding - but a good party and public declaration of love and commitment are important too.
I like Grannymar's style.

padmum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
padmum said...

In India weddings are HUGE--and mine was an event as I was the only daughter and so was my daughter's and son's!

I remember at the wedding reception of my daughter, my husband had invited a lot of his official contacts--as we had been attending many such weddings and had to return the hospitality. He warned me before we got on to the stage with the couple to receive guests--"If you know who it is tell me. If you don't know who it is, don't ask me"!!

(Coincidence: I am just getting a notice that you have commented on my blog)