Tuesday, June 29, 2010

If We Want Change, We Must Make Changes

This is a picture of one of my mission companions. She is my same age, 49, (well, I soon will be anyway) but has never been married. I think she is very pretty, but I don't know if she would be considered pretty by chinese standards. That might sound funny, but different cultures look at different traits for beauty. When we were missionaries, many people we met thought she was Japanese. But I do think she is pretty, and I think most men would find her attractive. But she has never even had a boyfriend.

She owns an English school in Taiwan, and has been successful for many years. But as she continues to age, she is concerned that she still isn't married. That is something she deeply wants in her life. I got an email from her today and she was questioning what she should do to make this happen. It's such a coincidence that I heard something today that really seemed to pertain to her situation. I was watching "America's Got Talent" while I was writing today, and one of the judges said this to one of the contestants who needed improvement. The judge said,

"If you always do what you have done, you will always get what you have gotten."

I told my friend that saying. I really believe that what she has been doing for 49 years isn't working for her. If what she wants is marriage, she is going to have to make a change. I feel very strongly about this because this is what I did to find my husband. I knew that keeping my life as it was, I would never be able to meet the right person for me. I came up with a plan for how I would increase my odds of meeting the right person, and I carried out each step. I really believe this principle applies to all areas of our life. Are you looking for a job? If you aren't finding one, then obviously what you have done isn't working. Are you in a bad relationship again? Then obviously you are doing things the same way to get the same result. If we want to truly change our lives, we have to make changes that will bring about the result we want. If we aren't having success, then our methods aren't the right ones.

I should add that I told my friend that I will pray for her, and I encouraged her to pray to know what changes she should make in her life. I think that if we pray for something specific like that,God will bless us with specific blessings. I do believe there is someone out there that would be the right husband for my friend. It is going to take God's help to find him. I have prayed to find items before, and God has shown me where to look. I believe God can show her where to find the right husband. And I believe God can help us make the changes in our lives that will put us in the right position to grow and to be able to receive the blessings He has in mind for us.


Mr. Giggles said...

Two words: Male Order...I mean MAIL Order.... :oP

Ramana Rajgopaul said...

In some cultures, like mine, successful career women do end up in such situations because, men would feel insecure with such a wife. Even married women who get to be successful in whatever they do, tend to face tension in their marriages and often part ways with their men. Quite what the answer to her problem, I do not know, but your approach of prayer is certainly in the right direction.

Inklings said...

I think she is very pretty, but she may not be very approachable. But prayer is good advice. Maybe you should also put her name on the temple prayer roll.
Ramana, that is an interesting insight.

Marla said...

Very good post and good advice.

Nene said...

So what were the steps you took in order to find your husband? :0)

tikno said...

Maybe in the Chinese culture, women tend ashamed to express her love first.

Btw, it's interesting to see your answer to Nene.

Delirious said...

Here is a link to a previous post that I wrote on the subject of how I met my husband. The main point I wanted to make is that I set goals for what I would do with my life so that I could meet the right person for me.


tikno said...

Thanks for the link, Delirious. I've read it and just try to conclude your story like this:
Make change by the way adapt with the atmosphere in accordance to our goals, and then... why wait?

You are right, even God won't help us if we do nothing.