One of my father in law's favorite pasttimes is answering scam emails. Tonight we stopped by to visit him, and he shared his latest creation with us. It gave me a chuckle, so I wanted to share it with you on my blog.
Here is the email he received:
My Dear Beloved,
My name is Rev. Fr. Juan Acosta. I am 74 years old now. I have been suffering in the sick bed for the past 7 years at King's College Hospital London, UK. Now I believe that my time has come to join my ancestors in heaven. I got your email address from the Internet, as the spirit of the Almighty God directed me to contact you for this charity work. I have US $11.1M deposited in a safe location in Europe which I want you to claim on my behalf for an important charitable project. Can you honestly do this for me?
Remain bless in the Lord.
Rev. Fr. Juan Acosta.
(The scam behind this is that they hope you will give them your bank account number so they can "deposit" the money, when in reality they just clean out your bank account. )
Here is my father in law's reply to them:
Dear Rev. Fr. Juan Acosta,
My assistant Hugo Takeashower has informed me of your dire need to dispose of the US $ funds currently ready to be dispensed to a charitable project.
I am so moved by your generosity that I have made arrangements with my old friend and counselor in financial matters, for him to accept in to our charitable work fund whatever amount your benevolent heart dictates you to forward to us.
Remember the great words of wisdom from the masters of the past:
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
"The best thing you can do for the poor is to not be one of them."
Please take a moment and forward your funds to our charity organization, "ILMAMLM" (I Love Money and Money Loves Me) In return we shall send to you our organization "Communion Kit" which contains a (Chinese-restaurant-like soy sauce package) of ACTUAL GRAPE JUICE, and COMPLETE instructions on how to place it on your television set, along with your favorite slice of bread to be BLESSED by the Rev. Ike through the television itself.
A second package will include the MIRACLE PRAYER CLOTH, which may be rubbed against your body to heal you, or may also be rubbed on lottery tickets or used at the horse track against your betting slip.
Please contact my counselor ASAP at: Rev. Ike, P.O. Box 5500 Boston, MA 02205
May you too receive substantial blessings for your charitable actions.
Joining you for the benefit of mankind,
Joy Bringer, Executive Secretary
Hugo Takeashower, Vice Counselor
Ima Konvik, Charity Auditor
(Note, the Rev. Ike is a real person who asks for money to support his lifestyle. If you feel like throwing away m oney, you can check out his website.)