Saturday, March 08, 2008

No Soliciting

I think I'm getting ornery in my old age. I have come up with a new invention that I really want someone to make for me. Here are the uses for it:

--At Christmas time, when you have already given all you can afford to give to charity, and the Salvation Army guy rings his bell in your face.
--Outside Walmart when there are people asking you to sign a petition. ("Excuse me, are you a registered voter?" Me: "Yes, but I like to actually study up on issues before signing petitions, and (loudly enough for everyone to hear) I think everyone else should do the same.")
--When you are walking in the city, and the umpteenth druggie homeless person asks for a handout. Call me heartless, but we all know where that dollar would go, and it wouldn't be to feed the cute dog he is holding, or to rent for an apartment, even if he had enough to pay for one.
--when you go out the OTHER door at Walmart and there is a guy handing out free papers trying to get you to sign up for a subscription.
Just think of the possibilities! I could just hold this sign up as I exit the store, and I would be able to walk peacefully to my car interrupted. Sorry..I'm old...I earned my orneriness. :P


JJJ said...

take your idea to the next level, make an iron on of it, and wear it on both sides of your jacket and or shirt! or maybe your hat?

Native Minnow said...

I never read up on issues before signing petitions. I figure everyone has the right to be heard. I do, however, study up on things before I actually vote for (or against) them.